Sometimes the left and right hands want completely different things

• Boss: I'd like you to do a review on this client's documentation.
• Me: OK, I have to clear it with them first, but that should be fine.

...later...

• Me: I'll be doing some review on your documentation to optimize it for our operations.
• Client (manager): What do you mean you're doing revisions? I have it just the way I want it!
• Me: Mostly just getting rid of redundancy and unnecessary information, as well as standardizing and cleaning up the overall organizational structure.
• Operations Supervisor: Don't worry, I'll keep an eye on the process to make sure we're not losing any information.

...later...

• Boss: Have you done your review yet?
• Me: Almost finished with it. Just have to go over a few more things internally.
• Boss: OK, be sure to keep the operations supervisor in the loop too.
• Me: Yep, he's been approving the big changes as I go. I know the manager was nervous about it.
• Boss: The Director of IT is here and happy to hear about the progress!

Crap forgot the match

One of our users shared this with us

I think we should just be friends........ how about penpals?

User: so it looks like windows uninstalled itself.

Off-balance: umn.... what?

User: windows was here and it just removed itself from the computer

Off-balance: so the computer removed windows by itself?

User: yes.

Off-balance: your restaurant is also a winery correct?

User: yes why?

Off-balance: how much of the stock you been drinking?, cause I will only accept that you are completely smashed beyond feeling pain to believe that your windows pc decided it didn't like your computer and left.

User: I don't understand

Off-balance: I know you don't.

Brotherly love

His reasons were ............ cause she's a girl

Moustache

• Zach: I don't care about any helicopter show without Tom Selleck's moustache in the front seat of that chopper.
• Me: There was a helicopter on Magnum P.I.?
• Zach: I don't know, but you better believe there was a moustache on that show. Not a fan of the shorts though. ~shudder~

Pray for peace, ...... cause I got the gun

You ever have one of those days where you repeat to yourself over and over "I will not stab anyone in the face today, I will not stab anyone in the face today........"

Here everyday is ..........

All I care about is whether it is naked Tuesday or not............... well is it?