Terminology

Via my friend James K:

"A user just said they didn't understand my terminology, when referring to an "error message""

Username Format

Tech: May I have your username, please?
User: Sure! It's jane "underslash" doe.

I feel like "Underslash" should be the successor to the wrestling character "The Undertaker."

I ate your problem with some fava beans and a nice chianti

Email from user:
"How do I register for classes online?
Best,
Clarice ********"

Tech's suggested response:
"Hello Clarice..."

Stereo surround sound

Tech:  hello this is Sam, how can we help you today?

Off-balance: hi this is off balance with hardware, this handheld needs recalled due to a confirmed hardware failure.

Tech: ok now when there is a hardware failure we dispatch it to hardware one moment.

*****off balance cell phone rings*****

Off-balance: hello?

Voice: this is sam with software support I have a user who claims that they have a hardware issue they refuse to troubleshoot would you take the call...........

Off-balance- Sam this is off balance with hardware ........ you are now talking to me on 2 different phones........