So that is a firewall?

from actual ticket:


walked caller through rebooting workstation

caller stated they had made some changes at the store side

the location had deleted ws3 from the system

and the printers were moved unto workstation 4 server 1

this has caused a severe printing issue

since the fire the caller was inable to get the printers active



Response from Matt:

yes, you are doing it right.

 

What's this "sport" you speak of?

• Coworker: Hey, I'm starting a fantasy football league with a few choice people at the office - $25 buy in - serious contenders only. you in?
• Me: I'll tell you what my college roommate used to say: "Isaac don't know shit about sports."
• Coworker: LOL, noted.

Homosaywhat?

That akward moment when you ask, "who is giving anal?" and they say, "if you need email, Matt, EMAIL, talk to Brian.

I Wonder if He Puts Out

• Coworker: This poor guy's last name is slutsky...
• Me: Woah, seriously?
• Coworker: Yep
• Coworker: Oh wait. Slutskiy. I guess that's a little better.
• Me: How is that better?
• Coworker: LOL it's not, I was trying to be nice.

Cultural Gap

After a meeting with a client:

• Coworker in India: hey who is Bob by the way...is he also called Robert?
• Me: Bob is short for Robert
• Me: American naming parlance
• Coworker in India: i see
• Coworker in India: and i was in dlilemma the entire call,was i talking to the right guy or not lol

Translate ALL the Herps and Derps!

When Matt told me about all of our German readers, we decided to see if "Herp Derp Desk" meant anything unseemly in German. Apparently not, but Google did have a fun suggestion:

Well they like us more, so we cater to those who pay attention

Da wir sehr beliebt zu sein, um alles, was Sie Krauts scheint, bin ich dieses Posting in Ihrem Krauty Sprache, vielen Dank für stoppin durch und machen alle unsere amerikanischen Zuhörern schlecht aussehen.

rock you Germanen, und wir werden Sie da Kehrseite sehen!

-above is the translated german-
-below is the engriss-

Since we seem to be very Popular to all you Krauts, I am posting this in your Krauty language, thanks for stoppin by and making all our American listeners look bad.
you rock Germanians, and we will see you on da flipside!!

-below is the german translation retranslated back to engriss-

Since we to be very popular for all you seem herb, I am by posting this in your Krauty language, thanks for stoppin and make all our American listeners look bad.

rock you Germans, and we'll be there to see backside!

-I Approve.

These are our latest stats, the germans are winning people.
Isaac is Jewish
Matt is Divorced

lets work on this

SHKSPR WZ ROFL RITER.............

The Cow Says...................... BULLSH...

From actual Ticket:


Troubleshooting: Saturday Batch did not settle. caller states that he has been in contact with [company] and said it was something on our end that needed fixed. checked with [company] who verified that they can force batch through but would need billable support. advised caller of billable support and he became irate stating that "this is bullsh!t" and that he wasnt paying for an issue that he didnt cause. advised caller i could dispatch to local for further support. caller agreed then promptly hung up the phone.

Matt Honaker- well did it work?

sEMI aLL cAPS rAGE

From actual call ticket:

Description Of Issue: Caller states he cannot get into Configurator. He notes that when he starts typing pw, it puts it in all caps, & then when he hits shift, it puts everything in lower case. He doesn't want to enter it in anymore, as it will lock him out. Caller notes this is not a big deal, but he was trying to change .......... price, but they can ring in another ............., & also, he might need to get in their later. Caller wants to know if there is a way to take pw option off from Configurator or not.


mATTHEW hONAKER ........... nO